After a long, hard day filled with phone calls, paper work and car washes, my team and I decided to find a new, ideal spot for our daily physical training. And for once we were successful. We wandered down across the cliffs and sand of Shoreline Park in Santa Barbara, CA and enjoyed the much needed fresh air.
My teammate Alexis and I decided to do some ab workouts on this gorgeous field overlooking the Pacific Ocean. And we were just starting to really get into our “ab pyramid” exercise we had found on Pinterest when was I was overcome by an unfortunate scent.
“Is it just me, or does it smell like serious dog poop?” I said to Alexis.
Figuring that it was just me, we continue through our crunches. When we finish our reps I insist that the area we were in smelled terribly. When I came to the realization that it wasn’t the area that smelled… it was me.
That’s right. I didn’t just step in dog poop. I LAID in dog poop.
It was on my neck, my shoulder, in my hair… everywhere. I then proceeded to take off my shit covered shirt and, with the help of my fabulous friend, used the untainted parts to remove the remaining fecal matter from myself. Alexis and I had to make the decision of telling this tale to everyone we ever came in contact with or to take it to our graves. Again, my friend truly is fabulous as most people I know probably would have tweeted or texted about it before I even had time to assess the situation. And as you can tell by this entry, I went with the first option.
After tossing my shirt into the trash and zipping my hoodie up as far as it could go I immediately called my sister to share my stool filled story.
“I don’t even know how I managed to do that,” I said to her. “It was like the littlest turd managed to make the biggest mess.”
“But isn't that the way life goes, Katie?”
And in my opinion, truer words have never been spoken.
Now I hope you realize that I don’t mean literally. But everyone has found themselves in situations where even the tiniest little “turd” ended up being an absolutely catastrophic disaster.
Maybe was a little white lie that you thought you would never have to deal with again. Until you find yourself carrying the same lie years later as it is now the basis of a relationship/ friendship/ reputation.
Maybe it was skipping “just one class” and you wind up missing the most important material before your upcoming final and end up failing the class or permanently destroying your GPA.
You get the point. So how are we supposed to deal with these situations that the universe somehow manages to blow completely out of control?
First of all, you need to do your best to see (or smell in my case) the warning signs as to when you’re getting yourself in too deep. For example, if I had stopped doing my crunches as soon as I thought I smelled dog poop, I probably wouldn't have ended up standing in the middle of a park in my sports bra being wiped down like a new born baby. If you think you are nearing the point of no return in your particular situation, it’s time to stop doing crunches.
Next, you need make an escape plan. The longer you stay in the turd, the messier it is going to get. Trust me. Try to find a way to eradicate yourself from the situation. Come clean about the lie, get back on track as hard you can with your grades. As hard as it will be to admit that you let what seemed like simply mistake spiral out of your control, it will be a whole lot easier than continuing on with what you have created. It will also be a whole easier than dealing with the aftermath of not coming clean sooner rather than “too later”.
And finally, you just have to laugh. When your life seems to be escalating to a new level of chaos and you can’t seem to get a grip on anything, it doesn't hurt to laugh at the shit that is surrounding you. Laugh at the thoughts of the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”s because the truth is that all the dwelling isn't going to make those thoughts go away. You can’t go back and fix all the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”s because whether you like it or not, you are where you are. You made a mistake, it got out of control and now you have to deal with it. But laughing a little bit during the process at least helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel, or in my case, the shower waiting for me back at my hotel. Don’t be afraid to share your situation with others, write it in a journal or even post it on your blog. Because you’re not the only one out there that is dealing with whatever you’re dealing with. And if you can’t find some humor in it, odds are someone else out there will be able to lend a hand. It may not seem like it but there really is a bright side of everything. There really is light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is barely visible. Laughter will only help make that light a little bit brighter.
And if you really have nothing to laugh at, just think about that girl whose blog you just read, laying in a pile of poop.
For your enjoyment, I have attached the following compilation of one my favorite jokes from one of my favorite shows to convey to you exactly how I felt earlier today. And how I’m sure we have all felt at one time or another.