So, apparently I am not as good at this blog updating thing as I hoped I would be. However, this time I actually have a good excuse as to why I haven’t had a chance to post. As previously mentioned I am currently part of the program Americorps NCCC Fema Corps and have dedicated 10 months of my life to community service and disaster preparedness/ relief. There have been a lot of ups and downs as you can imagine. Sometimes a lot more downs than ups. But the past week of my Amerilife has without a doubt been one of the most hectic, stressful and emotional week of my entire real life.

My team and I were finishing up our 2 ½ month project with the American Red Cross and just 2 weeks shy of our much needed midyear break. Plane tickets were purchased, vacations were planned…. Hopes were as high as you could possibly imagine. Until our last day working with the ARC Fresno chapter came and everything went awry. After 2, 10 hour days in a hot parking lot in 90 degree weather, spent washing cots and cleaning out ARC shelter trailers, FEMA Corps Team Gold One was hit with a blow we never saw coming. Our team leader informed us that instead of moving on to the next Red Cross chapter, we would be leaving the next morning to head back to our main campus in Sacramento, our team would be getting merged with a new team due to our lack of members and we would be deploying to the Texas Flood disaster in just 4 days. Meaning… we would not be going on break in two weeks as previously planned. And as quickly as my teammates and I locked eyes, is how quickly we all “lost our shit” as we keep calling it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know that this deployment is 100% what I signed up for when I joined a program partnered with FEMA. I want nothing more than to go and help these people that have lost pretty much everything. But saying the timing is less than ideal would be an understatement. I quickly imagined the hole in my bank account that would be left by the $500 plane ticket I would now not be using. I could already hear the disappointment in my grandparents’ voices when I tell them the news resonating in my head. I thought of the much needed time with my mom, sister and friends that I would now not be getting as soon as I had hoped. I’m still pretty convinced that every tear my teammates and I tried to hold in throughout the course of our very challenging first round all came out that afternoon.

So we finished up our work, bid farewell to our amazing Red Cross coworkers and rushed to our hotel to pack up what we thought we had 2 weeks to take care of in just one night. We arrived to campus the next day, met our new teammates and started preparing for the days ahead. Briefings, debriefings, packing, presentations, airline phone calls, van cleanings… the weekend was not going to be fun. But I convinced myself every morning that all I can do it take a deep breath and give it my all. The worst was over, I would tell myself.

But word to the wise, never convince yourself that the worst is COMPLETELY over because you really have no idea what is coming around the corner. On Saturday morning, I was informed that one of my best friends in the entire world decided to end her time with the program. I knew she had been thinking about it for quite some time, but I never really prepared myself for it actually happening. So not only was I going to be missing out on seeing my long lost FEMA Corps friends that have been scattered across the country during our program’s transition period, or going home to see my family, friends, dog etc… I wasn’t even going to have my other half with me to keep me sane during the next unknown number of weeks of chaos. (I know she is reading this and probably getting a little upset so I just want to make it clear that although I hate her for ditching me… I love her and support her decision and will be there for her both inside and outside of the Ameribubble).

So as you can tell, it has been a pretty busy week. I think getting ready to go “save people’s lives”, as one friend keeps telling me, excuses me from a blog post or two. I am actually writing this blog in the back of my new 15 passenger van with my new teammates and one old teammate (that I could not live without at this point) driving across the country to Austin, TX. We are currently driving through Arizona and should arrive in Austin on Thursday. We then will begin 2 weeks of 12 hour days working as Individual Assistants to aid those that have had their homes damaged or completely destroyed by the floods. Pretty heavy, right? Yea, I know.

But as much as the heaviness of the last few weeks has been weighing on my physical and emotional state, I can still genuinely say that I happy with and proud of my decision to stick this program out. I haven’t thought about going home very often, but the amount of nonsense my old team and I had to go through definitely kept the idea in the back of my head. But I was recently reminded that even though things out here haven’t been as amazing as I try to make it look in pictures, I came to this  program for a reason. I came here to make a difference in the lives of others and my own life along with way. I was reminded of how badly these people I am driving to need my help and that if I wasn’t here, I would probably still be sitting in a cubicle that made me hate my life wondering what the rest of the world has to offer me. And even if what I find isn’t exactly what I expected, it is an experience none the less that I will remember and appreciate it for the rest of my life.

I know that there is a pretty solid chance that this year is only going to get more difficult from here. But I also know that I have gone through some really, really terrible times in the past and somehow managed to make it out alive. In the grand scheme of life, this year is nothing. It is ONE YEAR. And at the end of it, I will get to walk away from this year a happier, more mature and over all better person that the person I was when I started it. I may be bumped, bruised and emotionally drained… but better.

I just want to take a second to thank all the people that I have called, texted, and cried to over the last few days. Between my mom, sister, home friends, FEMA friends and many more, I couldn’t have felt more loved and cared about. They have helped take my level of terror over the upcoming weeks from a solid 15 out of 10 back down to at least a 6 or 7. And if you know me even a little bit, that’s a pretty big deal.


Stay tuned for more updates on my latest adventure in NCCC Fema Corps. I really will try to be more diligent about my blog updating.



Look out Texas, here we come.